Some of my family landed on Plymouth Rock, and some of my family had Plymouth Rock land on them; it’s a complicated day, this “Independence” Day.

Went to Safeway, to grab a few items before the snow begins… and will never unsee the cold, dead eyes of the poor staff. Lines snaking through the store, bare shelves, and employees that look as though they’d rather be weeping in the corner.

Um, so… Siri… (a) that’s not even close to what I said, and (b) who the heck is Adriano Smotherman? #sirisocrazy

Siri interpreted “tofu” (soy bean cake) as “TOEFL” (Test of English as a Foreign Language). Which seems a stretch, really.